"The sacred, I shall say, is that which acts as your partner
in the search for the highest and deepest things:
the real, the true, the good, and the beautiful."
- Brendan Myers
It took me over four months to compose my last blog post, which was quite a disappointing, frustrating and new experience for me: I've rarely had writer's block. And so many reflection-worthy developments occurred during that time: it was hard to be unable to capture my perspective on them. And yet it's taken me just a day to produce this piece because upon reflection, the re-reading of that blog post, conscious appreciation of the numerous kind comments about it on FaceBook and a perusing of several of my friends' FB posts, it hit me: I was disheartened and disoriented by my perception of the loss of the sacred. More simply put, what has kept me from writing is that I'm wounded spiritually and psychically by the turbulent and tragic world in which we live and the dismayingly deteriorating American society of which I am/we are a part.
It can be summed up simply in a question:
It can be summed up simply in a question:
What's become of us?
As I asked myself this question for real, not rhetorically, for the umpteenth time, from that quiet space and place in my soul where God abides, the answer emerged softly yet powerfully: I ache because I believe that we've lost the sense of the healing, steeling sacred in our lives, that appreciation for the mysterious gift of life that make us humane and loving toward ourselves and our fellows. Whether it's the atrocities abroad or the injustices at home, each of these disturbing and immobilizing developments chips away at that part of us - or at least of me - that risks to live ever more fully, abundantly and lovingly.
This being said, I accept that my calling and God-given command are to be a gift to this world (and, in effect, a re-gift from the Lord to those He/She/It privileges me to touch in and with my life). And yet so often my gift, imperfectly given as always, seems too small to matter in the great sea of our miasma and mayhem.
One way that I could react is to give up and in to the pervading negativity and, ultimately, nihilism ... but I know deep in my soul that this isn't the way. Certainly it would be a less painful choice in the short-run, but ultimately it would lead to disaster: if we have nothing to live for we can easily loose our self-selected constraints and compulsions to humanity. If everything's awful anyway, what does it matter that I don't make an effort, try my best, care? If the world's going to hell in a handbasket anyway, shouldn't I/we just have fun before the arrival?
And even though I know that a negative answer to this negative proposition will be costly (and supremely so at times), I feel compelled - and called by the God who created me and us all - to make the more difficult choice: to resist the powers of evil and negativity and fight mightily to share and spread light and love.
So how does one do this in such a too-often dark world, spread light and love?
One answer that I've discovered comes from a spiritual mentor and fellow Christian 'heretic' whom I'm proud to know, Bishop John Shelby Spong. As I noted in a previous installment of this blog in a reflection on the lives of some friends who've left me/us too soon this year:
(I)n reality, if death has any lesson to teach us in life, it's that we must live life to the fullest now. In the words of the incomparable Bishop John Shelby Spong, we must "live fully, love wastefully and be all that (we) can be."
(I)n reality, if death has any lesson to teach us in life, it's that we must live life to the fullest now. In the words of the incomparable Bishop John Shelby Spong, we must "live fully, love wastefully and be all that (we) can be."
What the Bishop's wisdom and perspicacity have helped me to understand is that we honor God and the gift of life by living fully, fearlessly and lovingly in the present moment (which does not mean to live only for the present moment, but in it). Tomorrow is not promised, so I/we should both enjoy, live fully and love wastefully today and in a way that we can do so even more meaningfully and impactfully tomorrow (if we receive the blessed gift of that day).
So, how do I/we do this?
As I've pondered the answer to this seemingly simple (but profound) question, I've come up with a few answers, one of which I'd like to share now: In order to live fully, love wastefully and be all that we can be, we are called to know The Sacred in ourselves and others and to honor this as much and well as we can. If I love myself, (one of things that) I'll know (is) what's sacred to me ... and nourish and celebrate this. And if I love others, I'll get to know what's sacred to them and support and join them in nourishing and celebrating it (provided, of course, that it affirms and enhances life).
What's sacred to me?
Sharing via this blog has certainly become so this year. (Of course, the kind comments that friends and family members have shared in return have heightened my appreciation for this experience even more.) And quiet moments reading have always nourished my soul, especially challenging inquiries into theology or sociology or biography or, once a decade, historical fiction. So, too, the austere, contemplative grandeur of an early morning spoken word church service, which moves me almost every time and leads me to contemplate the Great Mystery of Life always.
Sacred, too, are crazy-busy weekends with the kids, who've taken to our blended/Brady Bunch family like ducks to water. And family movie nights together on the couch invariably stir the soul as they delight the heart. This new phase of my life as a parent, when my children are teenagers who are largely self-directed and thus pursuing new adventures in addition to still valuing family time, is also a blessing: I've been able to parent appreciably while also reclaiming a bit of my personal life and time (while they're off exploring the world). It's nice to be able to focus on oneself a bit while caring for the young adults who are no longer your babies physically but will always be so emotionally. And yet I savor the memories of them from back in the day even as I know that the next time there will be babes is when those children are their own....
And deliciously, delightfully and unexpectedly sacred is the love that I've found in mid-life (after having been a party to two failed marriages). Not that I didn't believe in love - I have always been and hopefully always will be a hopeful romantic - but I didn't expect to find it again in such a different and better form.
When I was young, my values were different and so, too, were my choices, including those of mates. As I've aged - and, likely, matured - I've come to appreciate what I consider a more realistic and workable model for relationships, especially committed ones. Simply put, when I was young, I underrated the value of niceness and overvalued external considerations.
Now, I realize that the essence of any strong, positive, lasting relationship is true friendship and companionship. Now, I realize that money can be earned and lost and earned again, but, in itself, it offers little beyond the temporal. Now, I realize that where you go and what you do is always secondary (and often ancillary) to with whom you journey. Ah, how costly those middle age 'Duh!'s can be....
Now, I appreciate fully that love and proactive kindness can heal, ennoble and embolden the soul beyond measure. And nothing is ever more sacred than the opportunity to give love in ways that are meaningful, both to those whom you love and to those whom you may not and who cannot ever repay you. Yes, it's a good thing to be loving to those we love and who love us in return. And yet, it's a different and wonderful thing to be loving with those whom we may not know, especially those who can never repay us, because such love is truly altruistic (if it's motivated solely by the desire to pay one's myriad blessings forward).
So, in an effort to experience the sacred every day, I try to be loving - proactively so - with my loved ones and even with those whom I don't know. I realize that my salvation has come from reveling in, celebrating and acting on the opportunity to express my gratitude by giving. Yes, the world is troubling and too often ugly ... but within this, there are always opportunities to create and experience beauty. By refocusing myself on expressing gratitude for my still myriad and ever abundant blessings, I have regained possession of my soul and found my voice again.
It turns out that what had me out of rhythm was that I'd forgotten that one can and should always start small and work from inside out. I forgot that re-claiming The Sacred is really about sharing it, even - or perhaps especially - in those times when I feel less able to do so. It turns out that The Sacred is always one loving kindness away ... and the awareness of this is in itself an experience thereof.
So, I share a lesson that I've had to learn again and have learned again: to reclaim The Sacred, give of yourself lovingly and thereby make your experience of the world real, true, good and beautiful. The Sacred is never "out there" waiting to come in; it's "in there" waiting to get out ... so let it out. No, the world won't change overnight, but your/our experience of it will. And therein lies The Sacred, to experience the real, the true, the good and the beautiful in every moment, even amidst the chaos....
Sacred, too, are crazy-busy weekends with the kids, who've taken to our blended/Brady Bunch family like ducks to water. And family movie nights together on the couch invariably stir the soul as they delight the heart. This new phase of my life as a parent, when my children are teenagers who are largely self-directed and thus pursuing new adventures in addition to still valuing family time, is also a blessing: I've been able to parent appreciably while also reclaiming a bit of my personal life and time (while they're off exploring the world). It's nice to be able to focus on oneself a bit while caring for the young adults who are no longer your babies physically but will always be so emotionally. And yet I savor the memories of them from back in the day even as I know that the next time there will be babes is when those children are their own....
And deliciously, delightfully and unexpectedly sacred is the love that I've found in mid-life (after having been a party to two failed marriages). Not that I didn't believe in love - I have always been and hopefully always will be a hopeful romantic - but I didn't expect to find it again in such a different and better form.
When I was young, my values were different and so, too, were my choices, including those of mates. As I've aged - and, likely, matured - I've come to appreciate what I consider a more realistic and workable model for relationships, especially committed ones. Simply put, when I was young, I underrated the value of niceness and overvalued external considerations.
Now, I realize that the essence of any strong, positive, lasting relationship is true friendship and companionship. Now, I realize that money can be earned and lost and earned again, but, in itself, it offers little beyond the temporal. Now, I realize that where you go and what you do is always secondary (and often ancillary) to with whom you journey. Ah, how costly those middle age 'Duh!'s can be....
Now, I appreciate fully that love and proactive kindness can heal, ennoble and embolden the soul beyond measure. And nothing is ever more sacred than the opportunity to give love in ways that are meaningful, both to those whom you love and to those whom you may not and who cannot ever repay you. Yes, it's a good thing to be loving to those we love and who love us in return. And yet, it's a different and wonderful thing to be loving with those whom we may not know, especially those who can never repay us, because such love is truly altruistic (if it's motivated solely by the desire to pay one's myriad blessings forward).
So, in an effort to experience the sacred every day, I try to be loving - proactively so - with my loved ones and even with those whom I don't know. I realize that my salvation has come from reveling in, celebrating and acting on the opportunity to express my gratitude by giving. Yes, the world is troubling and too often ugly ... but within this, there are always opportunities to create and experience beauty. By refocusing myself on expressing gratitude for my still myriad and ever abundant blessings, I have regained possession of my soul and found my voice again.
It turns out that what had me out of rhythm was that I'd forgotten that one can and should always start small and work from inside out. I forgot that re-claiming The Sacred is really about sharing it, even - or perhaps especially - in those times when I feel less able to do so. It turns out that The Sacred is always one loving kindness away ... and the awareness of this is in itself an experience thereof.
So, I share a lesson that I've had to learn again and have learned again: to reclaim The Sacred, give of yourself lovingly and thereby make your experience of the world real, true, good and beautiful. The Sacred is never "out there" waiting to come in; it's "in there" waiting to get out ... so let it out. No, the world won't change overnight, but your/our experience of it will. And therein lies The Sacred, to experience the real, the true, the good and the beautiful in every moment, even amidst the chaos....
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